Tuesday, September 6, 2011

ridding the past

Goodness, I can't believe it's SEPTEMBER. It's good to be back in the blogosphere, I know it's been way too long and I can't wait to start this new chapter in my life and share my journey with you all.

It's been a solid 2 weeks and some days since I moved to New York City and I could not be happier with the decision I made to go back to school in a city far far away (both in distance and in culture) from California. The question that I will probably soon face is, will I get homesick? As of today, no and not ever.

I feel more alive and free than ever before. Maybe because I'm thousands of miles away from home that has tied me down in so many ways since I was a toddler. I can't explain the type of freedom I'm experiencing now other than the fact that it's exhilarating, scary, overwhelming (but in a good way), all at the same time.

5 years ago, I moved to LA in hopes of finding a niche since I never had one in my hometown of San Fran. As an 18 year old, I felt that same sense of adventure as I do here in the east coast but with more aloofness. Less wisdom, I guess, though I barely have any considering I'm just 23...My adaptability to the LA lifestyle came easily, during a time when I was vulnerable in college and just wanted to fit in. Being new in a big city is exciting and you learn things about yourself that you'll never discover otherwise. Some places are meant for certain types of people, it's our journey to discover where that place we belong is. 5 years ago, hell even as little as a year ago, I thought my destination in life was LA.  But what I slowly discovered was a hyperral world that I simply did not want to live in anymore.

[By definition, a "hyperrality" is a a means to characterize the way consciousness defines what is actually "real." Things that are hyperral are entirely simulated, as a result being more real than real, more beautiful than beautiful]

Jean Baudrillard posed the theory of simulations, simply defined as "fakes." To Baudrillard, the contemporary world is coming to be increasingly dominated by the inauthentic, where counterfeit things are beginning to dominate reality.

I feel as though I lived in an unreal world for long enough that I'm ready to tackle life in a newer setting, where appearances only matter to 5% of the population, if that. Sure I'll miss LA but it'll be nothing like New York. There is a level of comfort that I've oddly found in a city that is so bustling, that it's bridging terms of an oxymoron. Who knows if I'll feel this way in the next 2 years, or months, but as of now I couldn't be happier to be here (how many times have I said that already? whatever.)

out with the old, in with the new ... view of manhattan skyline from williamsburg

3 comments:

jane said...

I miss the old skyline.. I know, it's stupid, but..

Anyway, great picture!

Laura Hunter-Thomas said...

New York...God, I am so jealous!! :)

Just in case you're interested, I'm giving away a Louis Vuitton Speedy 30 bag on my blog. Details here: http://www.beautynotbull.com/2011/09/giveaway-monogram.html

:)

Laura x

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